Meltdown

Went out to California for a conference in Anaheim. Since Kelsey is stationed just 45 minutes south at Camp Pendleton, Gary and I decide to visit her there. We finally found her barracks, kind of dark and depressing but she does have a room to herself. We take her out to lunch and she is uncharateristically quiet. Towards the end of lunch, we are alone at the table and she begins to cry. Here is my big girl, my independent one, the one who has succeeded as a Marine no less and she is crying in my arms. "Mommy I hate it here, take me home please", my heart is breaking. We don't talk a lot about it. I just know what she is feeling. We walk back to the car holding hands and crying. Gary is not sure what's going on. We take her back to the barracks and I have to leave her there and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. We are in the driving back and must drive along the base on I-5 for many many miles and I just sob out loud. I have not felt this way in so long. I cannot control the way I feel. All of me just wants to turn around and go get her. But I know this will result in her in the brig and me in jail. I actually call my Mom, 48 year old woman calling her Mom and sobbing. Gary is upset at how I am reacting I can tell. I feel so bad.

JumpShot

One of a bunch of layouts completed for the Pro-Scrappers league over at Club Scrap. I just love this one. Love the colors, love the paper and love the subject. The journaling is talking about how Kelsey convinced Kalie to keep taking pictures until she got that perfect shot of her jumping!

Cripe, I missed the entire month of February?

How can this be? I was doing so good. Well I can say I have been crazy busy at work? I can say I have had this terrible eye infection that has turned into a staph infection and I am on two different anti-biotics (yikes) I can say home life is crazy busy too and I have been working weekends at the gym. While all of that is true I think I have just not taken the time to post like I wanted to. So here I am posting and not sure what to say. So when all else fails first take a walk. Which I just did and it's so nice out there. Outside smells so good today. Then there is always the post a photo and talk about what it means to me ploy. So here goes. This is Kalie at her Orchestra concert last night playing her Viola. Chuck and I decided we have a Geek for a daughter. Which is just fine by me, less trouble hopefully eh?

Dante & the Taliban

I happen to be reading two books, well three actually but these two are what drew a comparison in my mind this morning. Jodi Picoult's The Tenth Circle and Khaled Hoseinni's A Thousand Splendid Suns. I just started Tenth Circle, and the author is describing Dante's Tenth Circle of Hell as a place in the very bottom of Hell where the worst is reserved for the Devil himself. The "worst" is described as the inability to move, the ability to do what you want, when you want to has been taken away. Last night just before falling asleep in ATSS, I was reading about the Taliban coming into Afghanistan as hero's, as an organized force which ended many years of civil unrest, but also as a gang of religious zealots intent on forcing their laws on the population of Kabul. The laws that were given to the people were many, but the one that stood out so prominently to me were the ones regarding the women. "Women may not leave the house unless attended by a male relative and clothed in a burqa, may not speak to a man, may not work among many other restrictions. To break the laws invited a beating or stoning or death. It just struck me that this sounds much like the Tenth Circle, the Taliban is restricting the movement of women, the ability of the women to move when they want, where they want. And that definitely sounds like Hell.

A Tribute to Frozen Water

For future use. Beautiful, transient and whimsical in their temporary-ness

This Blog

Reminder to me that this is a blog of my daily life and what is going on today in my thoughts, and in my life. I need to write more often!

So last night Kalie was in the shower forever, what's new?, and I said to her " you've been in the shower for half and hour it's time to get out now. Then I hear a very quiet, "what? I have been in the shower for half an hour? I don't think I have been in the shower for half an hour, how could I have been in the shower for half an hour?" This is to herself because she believes I am long gone. She continues this conversation with herself for a bit and then gets back to her singing. She just cracks me up sometimes.

Solitude and Quiet

Treasured moments. It seems as though I don't have any time alone anymore. And it seems I am not alone in this. As I was walking in to work this morning and chatting with a co-worker arriving at the same time, she mentioned she took Friday off so she could have time at home alone. I mentioned I had two hours home alone yesterday, on the Martin Luther King holiday, as Gary had to work and Kalie went up to the Fun Spot to skate for a couple of hours. Those two hours were delightful! No music, no tv, no questions, no expectations for what I should be doing. mmmmmmmm

The Kodi cam is empty this morning, too cold to leave him outside! He hates being in the house alone though! But 0 degrees. Yikes.

Stressed

Totally overused word I know, but sometimes I don't think we realize how stressed we get. I returned to my beloved 'sit and sew' class at my local quilting shop. It was so relaxing. I realized after I had been there for a bit that how stressed I have been and how little time I had actually taken for myself for awhile. I think the things I do are for myself. I took the Biggest Loser Challenge at my gym, which was for me I know, but it was also very stressful! It worked, I lost 10 lbs which was my goal. I have also kept it off, but man it was a ton of work and it was work every day to do it. Then came Christmas, which was for me and my family but man I am glad that is now over and done. I am thinking I will keep up with the class at the shop.

As A Mom

Well what does this picture do for you today? Remind you that we live in a very different world than I grew up in. It makes me think of a 20 year old, pregnant Marine who was raped, then became pregnant from the rape and then was murdered by her rapist because she had the guts to report it and testify against him. But this is not that girl, no this is my 20 year old Marine daughter who is currently stationed at that same base in North Carolina. How can I not be so worried about her that it is making me sick.

King of the Hill = Kodi

Here's Kodi, such a cool pic. Like he's playing King of the Hill or something. I had never seen him do this before. In case it's not obvious he is up on top of the doghouse. The doghouse he never uses except to pee on.

Working on today

Here is the quilt I am working on right now. Well actually just one of them. This is the hand quilt that I am working on right now. I love these thistles. the colors are wonderful, a couple of my favorites - green and purple. There will be twenty all together, five rows of four blocks. Two are complete! I enjoy having some hand work to do at night when we relax and watch a favorite tv show.

To the left, To the left

Wierd things are happening on the left side of my head. It started with ear pains, those wierd sharp pains that come and go and make you cringe over. But cotton in the ear helped and that went away. Then last Friday I got a strange flashing light in my left eye. It started so small I hardly noticed. But it got very large and distorted my vision. Very sparkly, bright and circular, it grew and floated up and to the left and then finally left my vision from the top left of my eye. Very strange. I had to see my optometrist anyway about new contacts, so I asked him about the wierd flashing lights in my eye. He checked it out and assuaged my major concern that it might have something to do with a detached retina. My father had one of those and I remember it involved some surgery. But his conclusion was that it was a "visual aura" and the precurser to a major migraine. I took some Excendrine Migraine and never saw a headache or anymore flashing lights. Then two days ago I woke up with one of those stiff necks on the left side. But very tender right behind my left ear. This I still have and it's driving my crazy, tough to sleep etc. Am I just getting old? lol

Moon in the Trees

View from my back door yesterday, a crisp -5 morning. The moon in the trees was just so beautiful. Taken with my new Rebel XTi, which I am trying to hard to learn how to use. The morning was so cold we even left Kodi in the house.

Industrious Beginnings

I found a blog from an old old friend and figured if he could do a blog so could I. I read on both Jessica Sprague & Tim Holtz's blogs about choosing a new word for 2008. A word to live by, to begin with, to change to. So I chose my word: Industrious. I love words. I love word games, definitions and reading. So as for my word for the year Industrious it is defined as : constantly, regularly, or habitually active or occupied : diligent industrious worker. This is what I will strive for in this new year. At home, with my family and my creating with quilting, photographing and scrapping. At work with my clients and my programs and my responsibilities. I have become too complacent of late and it is not making me happy. So this is part of my effort to become more industrious!