Meltdown

Went out to California for a conference in Anaheim. Since Kelsey is stationed just 45 minutes south at Camp Pendleton, Gary and I decide to visit her there. We finally found her barracks, kind of dark and depressing but she does have a room to herself. We take her out to lunch and she is uncharateristically quiet. Towards the end of lunch, we are alone at the table and she begins to cry. Here is my big girl, my independent one, the one who has succeeded as a Marine no less and she is crying in my arms. "Mommy I hate it here, take me home please", my heart is breaking. We don't talk a lot about it. I just know what she is feeling. We walk back to the car holding hands and crying. Gary is not sure what's going on. We take her back to the barracks and I have to leave her there and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. We are in the driving back and must drive along the base on I-5 for many many miles and I just sob out loud. I have not felt this way in so long. I cannot control the way I feel. All of me just wants to turn around and go get her. But I know this will result in her in the brig and me in jail. I actually call my Mom, 48 year old woman calling her Mom and sobbing. Gary is upset at how I am reacting I can tell. I feel so bad.